The Buck Stops Here: Getting My Health Back

Bees, I've been slacking on posting -- but for good reason of course! I've been working hard at my new job and really adjusting the norms and minor stress of being on full-time staff. I love it though, it's definitely better than interning. Haha.

Anyway, I've been going through a few things, privately of course. But after reading a post that my bestie wrote (if you haven't read "Handcuffed to God", check it out here) I decided it would do me some good emotionally to share what's been going on.

As most of you know, I was in a major car accident a few months ago where my car was totaled and I walked away without a scratch, but I did begin to notice consistent muscle spasms going on in my back and shoulders. I was treated for it, but the pain continued to come back. So, I made the usual appointment to the doctor. Little did I know that reality was getting ready to smack me in the face. The nurse checked my vitals and took my blood pressure and immediately looked concerned. My blood pressure was very high, in fact too high for a 23-year-old. She said "it could stand to come down" and that I should keep monitoring it. When she left, I took it upon myself to look at my electronic records and I noticed a spike in my blood pressure from the summer up until now and I was pissed no one had mentioned it or brought it up. So of course I tell my doctor and I'm like look what's the deal with my blood pressure? Is it these birth control pills I'm taking, etc.

She literally shot back at me and said, "your blood pressure has always been a bit high, but we're reluctant to put you on medication because you're so young." OH. MY. GOODNESS. Blood pressure medication? A piece of me died. And she looked at me and said, "honestly, between me and you, if you don't lose the weight, you're gonna die earlier than you should." I really just sat there. After that visit I found out (after doing some blood work) I was anemic, iron (I knew about this already) AND vitamin D deficient and I would be on prescription vitamin D for the rest of my life.

Thanks to Google, I found out I've been walking around for awhile with Prehypertension. And actually, my BP readings have dipped into hypertension levels (140/100). In other words, at age 23, I'm already having blood pressure issues, which means I'm already at risk for MAJOR heart problems. My dad had blood pressure issues and he's been able to get his weight down and his blood pressure down to normal!

He almost died a little over two years ago. The doctor told him like was going to have a heart attack very soon if he didn't change his lifestyle and my dad didn't even know that was happening to him. My dad didn't tell me anything until 2 years later. Now...2 years ago I was in college...and everyone that knows me personally knows how close and quite frankly how dependent I am on my dad. My mom left when I was about 13 and I don't have a close relationship with my sister who also left a few years ago. If he passed away then...honestly I don't think I would alive today writing this post. I wish I was kidding...but I'm not.

My dad is 59. And I'm 23. Now, I am facing the same issues as he did. It's scary...BUT if you don't like something...you got it --- work to change it.

So after all that happened, I enrolled at Gold's Gym. And when I told the trainers my story, I fought back the tears because I don't like crying in front of people I don't know and honestly I didn't want it to lead to self-pity, "look at you now, not only are you fat but you did this to yourself". Um no, I'm sorry, I don't want people to feel sorry that this is happening to me just like I don't want people to feel sorry for me that I don't have a relationship with my biological mother and sister. It is what it is and it's made me the young lady that I am today. One's true character always shines in the moment of adversity and I've had a hell of a lot of it. And quite honestly, even though it took me a long time,  I love myself as I am. I'm not walking around calling myself fat or ugly or running around trying to bleach my skin because I'm dark-skinned. I don't care about that stuff anymore, because everyone---EVERYONE has insecurities. And I'll be damned if I'm wasting my life sulking about stuff that I can't change when I can focus on the things I do have control over.

My dad is proud that I want to make the change for myself. One, I really don't like asking for help. Two, it's difficult to go into a gym and admit to yourself that you have an addiction to unhealthy food. Yes, I have an addiction. Three, it's even more difficult to admit to yourself that if you don't change your life you're going to die sooner rather than later. Four, when the people at a gym are extremely worried about your health...to the point where they continue to stare at your blood pressure numbers...yea, its about time to get that life together.

I wasn't the same person after that doctor's appointment. I sat in the car and said to myself. The buck stops here. I'm not going to continue to kill myself. I'm sorry, there are things to be accomplished and my mission is far from complete. So now I go to the gym at least four times a week for about 1 hr to an 1hr and 30 mins and I do cardio and I lift weights now right next to guys who look at me like damn this chick is serious. I don't eat out anymore, I make my own food and I have salad at least 3 times a week. I drink water constantly (I do have those Crystal Light packets and I do allow myself one juice or soda a week), and I take vitamins daily now. My personal training sessions begin tomorrow and yes, this investment in my health is gonna cost me $500 for all 20 sessions ALONE (not including the $30 for gym membership). But you know what, this is my life we're talking about. Cost is a non factor in this case.

I didn't like what I heard...so now I'm changing it. And I already see results. Don't just talk the talk, be about something. What ever it is. Period.

MB

Ladies: We Need to Have Confidence in Ourselves

Chelsea Settles on MTV

I generally don't write posts directed at one particular group but, I felt the need to do this after hearing something on the radio and watching Chelsea Settles on MTV.

Ladies, we need to have confidence in ourselves. It's as simple as that. There are too many capable, beautiful, intelligent young women running around agonizing about the acne on their face, their weight, their makeup, their shoes, whether they're good enough for their man or for a man at all and even whether they are good enough for God.

Listen to me when I say it all starts with us. We have to love ourselves as we are. If there's something you don't like and you can change it, then CHANGE IT. And if there's something you can't change, ACCEPT IT. Strive towards your goals, don't just sit there mopping around being negative, thinking no one likes or loves you and that your worthless. We have to be better than that.

No one will love, have confidence in or appreciate someone who can't love, appreciate or have confidence in themselves. It's not cute and most importantly it will just continue to damage your personal worth and self-esteem. So cut it out!

Plus-Sized Salon in England

The reason why I'm even writing all this is because in England, many plus-sized women feel intimidated to get their hair done in salons because they feel like all the skinny people are looking at them with disgust. They hate all the mirrors and apparently it's just a overall horrifying experience. The only thing I thought was valid was the fact that sometimes the chairs and sinks were too small for the women.

WHATTTTTTTT?! Hold up!

Yes, let me repeat it again, ladies dread getting their hair done because of underlying insecurities. I don't know about you but when I go to my hairdresser to get my hair done, everyone regardless of size gets out of the chair feeling like a BADDDDDDDDDD *****. Period. Why? Because, you just got your hair done and you can care less what people think. I can imagine things are harder over there considering that the average size in America for a woman is a 14/16. In England, I believe it is much smaller. But, I don't think segregation between skinny and plus-sized people is the answer to anything.

Plus-Sized collection at 2010 NY Fashion Week

Skinny people and plus-sized people are not going to go away. Everyone needs to deal with they way they are or work to change/accept it. It's as simple as that. Retailers, designers, etc need to be more accommodating of everyone. And we need to love ourselves to we can work to change the industries we consume from. The sooner we begin to love ourselves, the sooner everyone else will change their attitude and begin to love us too.

We also have to be honest with ourselves, not everyone is gonna like us, or like how we look, dress, etc. AND WHO CARES?! Do you honey. You will rarely see me in heels, but regardless of what type of shoe I have on I always feel like a BADDDDDDD *****. And when I do wear heels, I still feel like the same BADDDDDD ***** that had flats on. Don't do things for other people. Do them for YOURSELF.

That girl Chelsea Settles had to figure that out on her own. I couldn't believe she was like "what if I don't lose weight? Who will love me if I leave for LA?" EXCUSE ME?! With an attitude like that, no man will be knocking down that door. I'm sorry. Don't make decisions based on other people, make decisions for you. I'm glad she made the decision to follow her heart and move to LA to pursue her dream in fashion. Now, will it be a long road for her? Yes, because the fashion industry is obsessed with size 0-4. BUT, if she's good at what she does and works on herself, she'll find her place in the industry.

In the end, ladies, love yourselves. Be confident. Do you. The rest will follow.

MB

Interactive Marketing is EVERYWHERE

I just finished taking my first class at Georgetown and I have to admit it was pretty amazing. I didn't know what to expect in my interactive marketing class because I wasn't sure what "interactive marketing" really was. Come to find out, not only does my work in social media fall into the category of interactive marketing, but it something that touches all of our lives on a daily basis.

The internet has revolutionized the way we communicate, how businesses reach out to each other and consumers. These days anyone can be an information news source and making plans over social media outlets is the norm. I've heard of concepts like pay per click (PPC), search engine optimization (SEO), search engine marketing (SEM), social media, mobility, email etc. But I never understood how many of those concepts fell into the grand scheme of communicating a message to a particular audience.

The biggest thing I learned from my interactive marketing class is that research is pivotal to the success of an interactive marketing campaign. Understanding why your audience wants a particular good or service is one thing, but understanding how they search and locate the information they need is vital.

Keywords and terms can make or break a companies ability to market themselves. Even today, Facebook and timelines.com are going head to head because timelines.com is scared that the "Facebook timeline" will destroy their business. In the past, I would look at a story like that and just say why all the fuss? But it's a major deal when you understand the power of search terms and words associated with a brand. If Facebook does succeed with the usage of the world "timeline" it will have a significant impact on the timelines.com brand. It will affect search results, social media metrics and even their ability to reach consumers.

In the field of work that I do within the nonprofit sector, I believe it would be good to use a lot of the email concepts I learned in class like understanding how people respond to the from and subject lines. I do it all the time, I ignore unfamiliar emails, frequently deleting emails that I signed up for because they end up sending an excessive amount of irrelevant emails otherwise known to many of us as spam.

Nonprofits do a lot of email marketing not only to share information, but to fundraise, encourage a call to action, e-commerce, etc. Social media is also a great tool in the nonprofit sector. Understanding how to cultivate and sustain an audience on the web is crucial. What you do on Facebook does not easily translate on twitter considering there is a 140 character limit.

Overall I'm glad I took this class, it broadened my perspective as a communications professional and now I know that a lot of my work involves interactive marketing. Whether you like it or not, interactive marketing is everywhere and considering that budgets for digital communications are increases across all sectors it's safe to say that it's here to stay.

MB

How to Catch a Predator: iPhone Edition

People are hungry for money these days and after the statistics about the poverty rate going up in America, I'm not surprised that theft is increasingly becoming an issue.

This Friday, my iPhone was stolen. The last time I remembered seeing it, I put it in my bag. Whether it fell out or it was taken out of my bag isn't the issue at this point. The fact that someone found it on metro and took it home with them is what baffles me. In 2011, you must be a flaming idiot to think phones don't have GPS on them.

Find My iPhone App searching for a location

Which brings me to the post. Folks, protect your stuff. Why? Because other people want what you have and they are willing to take it and make a profit off of it. In my case I had a pass lock on my phone. Not because I thought anyone would steal it, but because people are nosy as hell and I'd prefer to give people access to my phone than have them all up in my business. I also had Apple's Mobile Me- Find My iPhone app.

Find My iPhone App finds the location of my iPhone 4

If you own an iPhone and you don't have a pass lock or the Find My iPhone app installed, you're a flaming idiot. Those two things will protect your phone from losers who like to steal iPhone 4's and sell them for $400-500 on Craigslist. Not to mention, it protects any sensitive information you may have on the phone. In the event that the phone is stolen, you can get the phone's location whenever it's turned on, send a message (usually prompting the thief to call a number and return the phone), it sets off an alarm for 2 minutes and you can remotely lock and/or wipe the phone. Now if you wipe your phone, it will disable the app and you'll be unable to locate it, so only do that if you're 100% positive that you're not getting the phone back.

The Craigslist posting that the kid had up (found it doing some personal detective work)

In my case, I was lucky. Blessed really. Some kid was planning on selling my phone and luckily his mom found out about the phone, told him he would not be selling it and she saw my message which had her name on it (after I did some detective work online). She ended up calling my dad and he went over there to retrieve the phone and gave her $40 as a gift ($40 that I now owe him which is WAY better than $500, I'll drink to that).

Police need to do their jobs. 

Needless to say, the app got my phone back with no help from the stupid police. I'm sorry if your friends or family are in the police force anywhere, but those bastards don't do anything. It was an open and shut case and no one wanted to deal with it. Not only did people give us the run around, they sent us to different police forces and no one was of any help. The thing that pissed me off the most was the fact that they basically said, yea if you don't see someone take something from you it's not theft. What the hell is wrong with this freaking country????

The only people that saved my phone were APPLE (thank you, I'm officially your customer for LIFE) and that lady who was probably told by God to give the phone back to me (thank you for having a conscience). It was my first experience really trying to use government services and they failed us. No wonder republicans are over "big government" and don't want to pay taxes. Y'ALL DON'T DO ANYTHING. They wasted our entire Saturday honestly.

Needless to say, I got my phone back within 48 hrs. I hope the devil is keeping score because every weekend God keeps showing off with touchdowns and field goals. I'm just saying...

MB

PS: I definitely appreciate my phone now more than ever. Don't ask to touch it for awhile, I'm bonding with it again. LOL. (not kidding)

Did you lose power after the hurricane?...

...Because I was one of the FOUR million + people without power last weekend and unfortunately I missed the VMAs. However, I did catch what was probably the most important information of the night: Beyonce finally got knocked up.

Before I continue, I want to make it VERY clear that I'm not a Beyoncestan. I don't go around pretending to be Beyonce, attempting to dance in heels like Beyonce, and I'm damn sure not going to go around trying to sing like her either. I'd prefer to let Beyonce be herself and I continue to be my damn self. Don't get it twisted though, every morning I can be seen doing my cat walk in McPherson Sq to "Run the World (Girls)" and "End of Time" LOL.

Honestly, it was about time. People have been speculating, itching and scratching for her to announce a pregnancy for like 6 years. What I admire about this situation is that she doesn't give a crap what any of y'all or the media or quite frankly even what Jay-Z wanted. She waited until she was ready. Period. If anything I was happy for her for like 2 hrs and then I resumed my focus to the fact that BG&E could not for the life of them get my power on until over 72 hrs later.

People were talking about oh I respect her for doing it this way. UM hello, people isn't this the way it's traditionally supposed to be done? Stop being a**backwards in your thinking folks.

That baby is gonna get more press than the royal wedding and Hurricane Irene combined. You think it was crazy then? Wait until the baby comes out. Tabloids are probably gonna pay upwards in the tens of millions for a glimpse of whether that baby looks more like Bey or Jigga. LOL. #imdone.

DMV drivers are THE WORST!

Hey bees! I've been a bit absent from The Buzz, but I have an excuse. See about two weeks ago I got into a car accident (which wasn't my fault by the way) and my car was totaled. Not to mention I started my first job two days after the accident. SMH. But I'm ok, the doctors say I'm going to be fine and I get to go car shopping finally.

But this leads me to the point of this post. DMV DRIVERS SUCK. Yes, you over there from the DMV, you can't drive. Now this would probably mean I have to include myself and considering I've never driven a car out of the DMV I really won't know until I do if I suck. But for the REST OF YOU...y'all are the worst. 

Why the hell do you abruptly stop, turn and then turn on your signal or you don't know where you're going??? I just can't. Or you go from the far left lane to exit all the way on the right and vice versa. OR you get mad if I try to pass you. I'm sorry I have to agree with my people from Jersey and NYC....go back to driving school, STAT. Some idiot in front of me did NOT know where they were going and they caused me and two other cars (both SUVs) behind me to end up in a 3 car pile up. All because people can't freaking learn how to drive. People in this area need to get it together and if you think I'm lying, believe it because according to the Los Angeles Times, Allstate ranked DMV drivers as the worst drivers in AMERICA for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW. Get it together people. Otherwise, your cars are gonna look like this all the time.

MB

RIP Honda 

1996-2011

Rewards Are Never Given, They Are Always Earned

Bees, I just wanted to get this out quickly. So much has already happened in the past 17 days it's not even funny. I didn't expect to go to Ghana, come back and have my life magically snap in place (apparently my dad did, but I didn't see that). Well actually, it wasn't "magic", it was God and it was more of a progression than a SNAP. I don't really feel like going into details, but let's just say that a lot of things have finally worked out in different areas of my life.

The lessons I've learned over the past year are ones that I'll never regret and this moment is one I'll never forget. It is by far the BIGGEST sigh of relief EVER. Last December, I completely lost it. Everything felt out of control, foreign and quite frankly I was fearful. So I did something to take control: I decided to stop being stupid and ACT. Long story short, my actions spoke louder than my words. That was my mantra for 2011. I actually did something for once, had a bit a faith---and well, something happened. I messed up several times along the way, but I'm human. I'm not perfect and I still have a lot to learn about myself and quite frankly about other people. I'm glad everything happened the way it did, not just in this past year but over the past couple of years.

I thank God for everything. Especially for reading that note that I put under my pillow every night with a list of things I really wanted...because little did I know, He already gave them to me. :)

Don't think I'm gonna kick back and relax now. I'm just getting started...

PS: If you're wondering what I'm talking about you might want to do some stalking on my Facebook or my Linked-In in the near future. *hint hint*

MB

Mac OS X Lion Review

Before I begin, I just want to say that I'm not a techie or a person that uses my MacBook Pro (late 2009 model) for heavy creative assignments so this review is coming from a consumer perspective. I also want to point out that depending on what you have on your Mac and what you use it for, you'll probably view Lion differently. Apparently a lot of Adobe creative tools aren't fully compatible with Mac OS X Lion yet.  I was definitely hesitant to make the switch, so much so that I actually made the purchase on July 29th and waited until last night (August 12th) to install it. I heard a lot of bad things about it so I wanted to give it a few weeks to see if developers would make updates, etc. Anyway, after making the switch here are the things that I noticed differently on my computer:

-Runs faster. Not sure what people were talking about regarding the rainbow ball of death aka that color spin wheel that pops up when it's loading something, but my Mac actually brings programs up faster than it did before. No issues thus far and no rainbow ball of death. Sorry to disappoint.

-Spaces is gone, but mission control takes care of that. I really never cared for spaces and I doubt i'll use mission control. I'm a beast at multi-tasking on one screen, which may be insane to some of you but I make it work.

-Launchpad makes my computer look like an iPad by bringing up all the apps. It's basically a shortcut for the Applications folder. Makes life easier I guess. LOL. No real noticeable change there.

-Gestures: this is probably one of the bigger changes. The scrolling can be set to the regular way or how scrolling operates on an iPhone or iPad (I own an iPhone so either one doesn't bother me). If you hate the new scrolling go to system preferences and change it. There's a lot of swiping of three or four fingers going on...lol all shortcut functions. I enjoy the zoom pinch with two fingers or the smart zoom where you tap the trackpad with two fingers. Kinda nice.

-Name in upper right hand corner: not sure what prompted them to do this, but whatever username you're logged into, that will appear in the upper right hand corner next to the time. I don't mind, it makes it easier to get to the login window if you ever want to logout, etc.

-Front row is gone. I tried it once before running Lion and honestly I didn't care much for it, it was just a video viewing function. Whatever.

-Scrollbar disappears just like on the iPhone and iPad. If you have one of these products you won't even notice. Also, there's auto spell check. For those who have apple products, this can be the devil. Just be aware to double check your work when typing because if you spell something the Mac doesn't recognize it will change it but you can always go back or "x" the change spelling and have your Mac learn the spelling.

-iCal, Photo Booth, Mail are different, more efficient in my opinion. I don't use mail on my comp tho, I rather log into gmail directly or get mail on my cell since I'm always on the go. Some people were complaining about photo booth, I just used it, works fine.

-YOUR COMPUTER WILL FEEL HOT WHILE INDEXING. People were going on the App Store trying to scare the crap out of people. Look your comp is indexing. It's trying to organize your life, shut up and put it on a cool surface, perhaps that invention called a table and not on your lap and let it work.

Ultimately, the changes aren't all that significant (if you are an Apple user who has an iPhone or iPad). I don't do heavy gaming or creative stuff so I can't speak on that. I heard that developers are still working on testing compatibility with the new OS so if you are a heavy gaming and creative person, I'd wait until the developers for those products roll out updates or upgrades of the apps and creative suites. Besides that, go ahead and make the upgrade. Make sure you check for updates on your computer BEFORE installing Lion and check afterwards before using anything. I ended up having updates for Photo Booth, iTunes, Skype and Java immediately after downloading Lion but I had to manually check for them.


MB

Understanding Your Gift

My posts have become increasingly personal because I need an outlet to release all this stress from job searching. I really wanted to touch on something that I realized today: Understanding Your Gift. No I'm not talking about Christmas or birthdays. I'm talking about understanding the gifts and talents that God gave you and using them to move toward your purpose and destiny.

I was having a convo with my bestie (follow her on Twitter @Brenda_Bren) and I realized that I enjoy creating roadmaps for people. Let me explain. Recently, I've been a bit obsessed with learning more about what strategy is and what it means in the grand scheme of a communications plan. It's one thing to implement tactics and get caught up in the fine details, but it is certainly another to come up with the overall plan which will help lead to the desired end result. I enjoy doing that. In my everyday life I enjoy helping my friends and family see their lives and careers differently from a strategic perspective. And it made me realize that I really need to move forward in that direction. One metaphor I used today eluded to the VH1 Show "Single Ladies". Everyone knows Stacey Dash (who plays Valerie Stokes), but not a lot of people know about Stacy A. Littlejohn, the writer of "Single Ladies".

In my opinion, Dash represents the foreground and the tactics. Her acting brings the character Val to life. However, Littlejohn represents the background and the strategy. Her writing provides a framework for the characters and the show. Without the writer there would be no Val. I see myself as that writer or in this case a communicator who wants to provide the framework (strategy) for a communications plan that supports the overall goals and objectives of an organization. I don't know why it took me this long to figure that out but I'm glad I did. In a few weeks I'll be starting courses at Georgetown and it will definitely help to have a better understanding of what I want and where I want to go.

I swear it's a never ending journey...

MB

You Never Know What You Have Until It's Gone

Advertisement for the movie 

Last night I went to a midnight showing of The Change-Up. Before I begin, please just go watch this movie. It was BEYOND HILARIOUS! Ok, back to the post. The movie had me thinking about how we're never satisfied with our lives and we take things and people for granted. You never know what you have until it's gone or in the case of this movie, until someone else has what you used to have.

Why do we take things for granted? And most importantly why do we wait until something BAD happens in order for us to realize that? In the movie The Change-Up, the two lead male characters hate their lives and while they're peeing in a "magical" fountain (please don't ask why) they wish they had each other's life. Bad, bad idea. I'm not going to share more beyond that since it just came out today, but you can infer from my post that they figure out that they took their lives and each other for granted. 

I said this in my previous post, but life is really too short to not enjoy it and the people around you, especially loved ones. Live it to the fullest, otherwise you might find yourself and a friend peeing in a magical fountain and waking up the next day in their body wishing you had your normal life back. Haha. 

MB

A Moment of Vulnerability

Scene from One Tree Hill 

My first weekend back in the states had to be epic. I could not (and quite frankly, I would not) spend it at home, bored, watching the "children" in Congress continue to bicker over this debt ceiling crisis. I had to get out of the house after sitting in it for about 72 hrs.

The night out was great in many different ways but at one point, I had a moment of vulnerability. A feeling I haven't allowed myself to have in a really long time. I'm not really going to get into the details about what triggered it or what my initial reaction was to it because that's just another blog post for another blog honestly. The moment just made me more self-aware. It served as a reminder of how far I've come and how far I have yet to go. And it also made me realize that although I may choose to ignore certain aspects of myself, others cannot.

My reality is simply this: I am who I am because of God. I accept the things I cannot change and for the things that I could improve upon, I'm sure I have it on a list somewhere. Just don't expect me to pay more attention to it because of YOU.

It Just Takes a Good Smack...

I'm officially beyond halfway through this trip as we only have 2 full days left in Cape Coast. I'm definitely going to miss it but I am anxious to get home, back to reality I guess. Coming back to Ghana made me realize that in some aspects I've definitely changed- like being open to new and unfamiliar traditions. After 23 years of dodging, I finally put on traditional African attire. It felt weird but this time around I enjoyed it. As a kid I always found the outfits to be stiff and constricting. Now I didn't even notice.

Relaxing has given me some time to think about what I want and what I need right now. I have to admit, my priorities are all over the place and something my dad said struck me: "Fantis have problems taking risks, they don't want to fail." Ah. So that's my problem, I'm afraid to fail. Being 23, unemployed with experience in a field that I'm not even sure I want to continue with is scary. But life is like that, nothing is certain or guaranteed. I just need to go for my dreams, just like I did when I was little. I've already come so far and accomplished so much but I know there's more work to be done. I think coming "home" made me realize that. So as I enjoy these few days I have left in Ghana, I need to set new goals and start putting things into action.

Sometimes it just takes a good smack in the head to realize what you're doing wrong and what you could be doing right. Go figure.

MB

Before I Let Go...

Hello Bees!

Greetings from Ghana! I obviously could not stay away from the computer long enough. Actually, me and my dad began sufferring from CNN/News withdrawal. LOL. We have no TV, no continuous internet, phone, and I have no idea what the hell is going on in Ghana, let alone in America. SMH. I have no idea what the weather will be like until I walk outside, but nonetheless I enjoy it. This trip is a much needed break from the stress back in the states. So much so that I realized today, during breakfast, that my left eye stopped twitching and I don't get daily headaches. Plus, I don't think I've slept this well in a year.

Anywho, I decided to get on blogger today not really to talk about the trip persay, but more so to vent about a revelation that I had today. You see I'm not in Ghana for this deluxe vacation (it's far from that trust me). I'm actually here because my grandpa passed away and we're doing the ceremonies/services this weekend. We saw his body today and I was not physically or emotionally prepared for that, but it was certainly something that I needed to experience. It served as a reminder of my own morality that I often "forget" about and today it really hit me that at any point in time any one of us could be gone. Just like that. I have to admit, there are a lot of things that I haven't done or said that I probably need to and hopefully when I get back I can work on speaking up. I'll be the first one to admit that I am a master with the pen, but a fool with the tongue.

Which brings me to another thought- why do we wait until it's too late to say how we feel? I mean not even when we're facing our own morality, but just in general. People are just so damn slow to speak up and say what's really going on in their heads. And honestly, I think it's fear:  fear of rejection, isolation, disappointment, failure, etc. That's what myself and a lot of others have to overcome. Life is too short to live on assumptions, walking in the shadows apprehensive, wondering, wishing, waiting...in this case for something that's never going to come because I like many others don't go after it.

Now, I'm not saying I need to free-fall down a cliff or bungee jump (not gonna happen, ever- sorry), but I am saying that I need to be more open to my friends and family about how I'm really feeling and even how I feel about them. I have a really difficult time [verbally] saying that I "love", "like", "miss" people (I don't however have an issue letting you know if I don't like you or if you've pissed me off lol).  Let's not even get into my dating life, all my friends can testify with full faith and confidence that I am a 20-something year old version of Keisha from VH1's Single Ladies. I never wanna show ANY of my cards, I refuse to feel vulnerable, and I operate like a guy LOL. Do I feel vulnerable? Yes, with some guys I do. And I do approach dating like a guy, from a sense of rationality. I did the whole, I'ma be in my feelings thing and that was a DISASTER. You can't be all heart and no mind, there has to be a balance. Haha, ok I just showed TOO many cards in this post (consider them freebees). I'm working on my denial girls, I'm working on it *no judgements*.

Either way, time is too precious and short to be playing around. I've got moves to make, what are yours? Because before I let go...I'ma need you to "check me boo". Haha! ;)

MB

Murdoch He Wrote...As the Clock Goes Tick, Tock

"Murdoch He Wrote...Murdoch He Wrote..."

If you haven't heard about the Rupert Murdoch scandal, you've been hiding under a massive rock. He's currently under fire in the UK because of a phone hacking scandal and people are calling for him to be investigated in the U.S. too. Why? Well let's see, this guy owns media and entertainment outlets that have virtually touched every American. Don't think so? Let me go down the list: 20th Century Fox, Fox News, New York Post, Dow Jones, The Wall Street Journal, DirecTV and even Harper-Collins Publishers. Yup, you've been touched by him indirectly whether you like it or not. Which means this scandal is going to have a significant impact on his companies here. The scandal managed to exposed the UK's interesting relationship between the government and the media (as if we didn't know that happens, come on don't be naive) and it has people questioning journalists and their "ethical" standards. Only time will tell what will happen to him and his "empire".

"As the Clock Goes Tick, Tock"

President Obama has had ENOUGH! Thank GOD. The man socked it to Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) during the debt ceiling negotiations and basically gave everyone a serious lecture and ended the meeting. People have been slapping, poking, beating, laughing, disrespecting, spitting, and anything you can think of on Obama. The man is doing his job, shut up and let's crank out a deal. YOU WOULD THINK these the Republicans would realize that allowing this country to default would slaughter the very hands feeding. But no they keep changing their position. And Michele Bachmann has some nerve talking nonsense that if the U.S. defaults nothing will happen. UM excuse me, for all my CONSUMERS OUT THERE...what happens when you don't pay your credit card bill or that financial aid bill? Your credit will get screwed, your interest will go up, and you won't be able to buy ANYTHING. DUH, it's not theory, it's a FACT sweetheart. If the U.S. defaults on it's financial obligations we're gonna be screwed, just like the millions of Americans out there who are unable to pay their own debt. All those idiots in office need to shut up, lock it down and come up with a long-term solution for the debt ceiling before August 2nd. Otherwise, they'll be in there talking about the 2011 Recession/Depression. All I can do is SMH and hope that when I get back from my trip to Ghana that I'm not coming back to a crisis. LOL.

Single...Ladies...

OMG...my newest obsession comes on Mondays at 9pm on VH1. You guessed it. Single Ladies.

Y'all this show is the bomb. Last night the writers really threw us for a loop by having Keisha run into Malcolm's sister outside of the studio. I mean homegirl was mentoring her for a brief second. They're definitely showing Keisha's mature side and I like that. Too many shows have black women acting all types of crazy, but Single Ladies is definitely the truth.

But the biggest moment wasn't until Malcolm and Keisha got real, admitted what was going on with them and wait for it....wait for it...they made it OFFICIAL!!!!!!!! I cried like 50 times. I mean I was sitting there with Keisha every episode as she was frying Malcolm, seducing him, getting fried by him, goodness I felt for her. But last night...y'all, it really brought me back to that moment when the guy you like FINALLY AND I MEAN FINALLYYYYYY says "aight let's do this" aka "let's be officially boyfriend/girlfriend", etc. Sigh, I was so happy for her. Not to mention she finally slept over? Shoot...lemme find out Keisha is sprung. HAHA.

MB

The Sky is the Limit...I Hope...

Hey bees.

Things have been pretty tense lately and I've kinda decided to switch gears. This will be my last post for InternWeekly. I'm going to go in another direction with this blog...and not even just on here but I guess my life in general. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'm going to pursue more digital stuff. So hopefully I can really develop this blog out more and do the things I wanted to do. So until then, I'll see you.

MB

Beyonce "4" Album Review

I purchased the Beyonce album on iTunes last night and got a chance to listen to the entire album from start to finish this morning. I just want to note that as I’m going to be as objective as possible in this review, these opinions are solely mine and no one else’s.

Let me start by saying- if you were expecting Beyonce to come out with a heavy hitting dance your booty on the floor, blockbuster album, you’re going to be highly disappointed. To be quite honest there aren’t any serious club bangers on there. It’s more of a reflective album, one that you listen to when you just wanna chill out or if you just wanna daydream all day. Also, another thing I got from listening to the album is that it is “relationship loaded”. Every song except “Run the World (Girls)” is about a love found, a love lost, caring too much, not caring enough, wanting to be the one, giving your heart away, being there for someone, etc. If that’s not where your mind, your heart or even your life is at when listening to this you’re probably gonna think it sucks within the first 10 seconds. Also, I do agree with WashPost when they say that it sounds like Beyonce is trying to shatter every glass and contact lens within range…LOL.

Now for me when I listened to the songs out of order last night I did a collective “ehhh I just wasted $9.47 on completing this album on iTunes.” But when I listened to it this morning in track order, free of distractions and alert- I took to the album differently. I did get a summertime, driving in my car with the boo, with my hair flying in the wind feeling sometimes and then a sullen, distant and removed feeling the other half of the time.  And I will admit I literally started SCREAMING in the middle of “Best Thing I Never Had”…not because of anything bad, but simply because that joint was getting to me on a personal level.

I give it 3.5 out 5 Mochabees. Is it her best album? Hell no. Out of the four she’s put out, it’s my LEAST favorite. I don’t even think there’s a single on there that will top “Single Ladies”. But I do think she has some decent songs on there so here are my favorites (in no particular order):

1+1—Sounds better live or without background music…

Best Thing I Never Had—this is a banger

Party (feat Andre’ 3000)—this is a chill banger, remix this joint ASAP

Love on Top—cool joint

Countdown –playful joint

End of Time –this right here, is my dance joint, I’m digging the serious Afro-Caribbean-Latin influences especially in the first few seconds of the song. Sounds even better live. Definitely choreography material.

I don’t really care too much for :

Run the World (Girls)—Who runs the world? Not girls. -_______-

I Care—I don’t care…

I Miss You –I miss “dangerously in love” but we can’t always get what we want lol

Rather Die Young –OD, I’d rather break up with you than turn into a stage 5 clinger

Start Over ---eh didn’t care for this

I Was Here –It was like carving a name on a school desk…random. 

I Need Another Extension, Another Hair Extension That Is!

Oh busy bees,

I can't even lie to you all. I didn't start my exercise plan yet. I did try out my treadmill at home and even though I felt great after a 45 min workout, I need to figure out a way to get variety. LOL. I know, I know! I can feel you all shaking your heads at me. I decided to manage my stress by getting my hair done. I recently tried this "Remy hair" that everyone has been raving about. I paid about $140 for two packs of the Goddess Remi (Yaki, 14 inches) and $250 to get it done (including a relaxer, etc). It was a heavy price to pay but it was WORTH it! Recently, the NY Times published an article about how hair extension theft is on the rise. I can see why people are anxious to get their hands on this hair. It looks AND feels good. It's probably the best investment I've ever made in regards to my hair and I will not be going back to anything else. 

Now...my fellow interns I must warn you, don't go spending all your money. I waited FIVE months to do my hair and I have very kinky hair that breaks easily and mats up like carpet quickly. This isn't something I would recommend for us to do constantly because if you don't have the funds, YOU WILL BE BROKE. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I'm definitely not spending money on anything I don't need for another month because my wallet took a hit for this. #thingsIhadfivemonthstothinkabout

I will be back with a video update though, probably giving my thoughts on the hair and hopefully an update on working out, in addition to other ways to manage stress. 

"You've been gone for TOO long MB!"

Hello busy bees!

I know, you're giving me the side eye. I've been missing in action for over a month and I decide to pop up and do a post conveniently in May. LOL. Being an intern is NOT easy! Contrary to popular belief, we actually do substantial work and I do go home tired. But I digress!

I've returned to jumpstart my first InternWeekly series "Managing Stress" (how convenient). The past year has definitely been a test of my faith full of ups and downs and I must say I really did not think I would still be in this position, if at all but I really have to thank God for keeping my sanity through it all. With that said, there were different things I tried (and still try) to manage my stress. So I decided that I'm finally going to drop this college weight (perhaps some HS weight too), workout this summer and document it for all of you to see. I figured a video diary would be better than me just writing all of this out. SO the entire series, in addition to my personal journey will be in video form. How exciting!

Also, I wanted to let you busy bees know that my bestie Brenda landed a full time job as well! YAY! I've touched on networking before and making connections but I really didn't talk about how your close friends and family can be great resources as well. In this case, I was able to really understand what type of transition she wanted to make and as any good friend would, I looked out for jobs/internships for her. I came across a job posting on AU Careerweb and I sent it to her (future recruiter in the making perhaps? LOL). And with a dash of my creative writing (yes I help people with their resume and cover letters) and her ability to sell herself, she landed a position that wasn't even advertised (she ended up getting the same position for a different department which was more along the lines of what she wants to do). God certainly doesn't put desires in our heart for nothing, be sure he will use the people around you to bless you.

So for all my fellow interns out there and to the upcoming graduates from the Class of 2011, don't be discouraged. Your job will come. For me I've definitely found a place at Racepoint DC. The culture there has inspired me to think outside of the box and be more of a content producer rather than just a consumer of social media. I can only help to learn from my fellow colleagues and even inspire them to try new techniques as well. I do see a future there, but I know in PR, I have to earn my spot and I'm more than willing to do that :).

Stay tuned for the first "Managing Stress" post. I hoping to post videos 1-2 times a week, but I can't make any promises because I am a busy woman. But I will do my best to make the posts consistent for you all (Blogger 101- always post consistently).

xoxo
MB

Knowing When and Where to Make Your Dramatic Exit

As you all know, I've been interning at the Q for six months and I decided to end that journey yesterday. It wasn't an abrupt departure, it was planned and everyone knew in advance. I think it's important you know yourself and what you want from your internship experiences. And I knew that the time had come for me to move forward.

For me personally, I still have a lot of professional curiosity and there are some things that I feel like I still need to learn before I can really give any public relations firm what they need in order to add value to their current business. It's all about knowing when and where to make your dramatic exit. There's no point of dragging your feet in the mud if you know it's time for you to move on. I made great friends and hopefully long lasting connections and maybe even a mentor at the Q. They really helped me fuel my passion for the art of public relations. With that said I left on a positive note and it confirmed to me that greatness lies ahead for me.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my last two days off part-time as I gear up to join Racepoint full-time!  I'm excited to join the DC team and learn more about how to integrate traditional media and non-traditional media to suit the needs of their clients. This time around I want to strive to learn more about their business model and how my role can help to make a considerable impact for the team. I also plan on keeping my eyes and ears on the pulse of new media, adapting technologies and innovative ways to redefine and cultivate new ways to conduct the art of public relations.

To the Q, I bid you farewell. To Racepoint, I say- LET'S GO!

-M

Welcome to InternWeekly Online!

Hello my fellow bees!

Welcome to InternWeekly Online! Every week I'll post intern tips and tricks to landing an interview for an internship or an entry-level job, a weekly newsletter and job postings.

As we get feedback and continue to develop the blog I will add more exciting features like webinars so that you busy bodies out there can learn how to edit your resume and cover letter. I would love to continue to do it for all of you but the reality is, I don't have as much time to do that as I would like. If it's dire then hit me up at internweekly@gmail.com.

Stay tuned, next week will be a special feature for all my summer interns. If you are looking for an internship or need some advice on where to go or what to do if you're in Washington, DC, I'll have some lists for you!

Enjoy everyone!

-SB

PS: If you didn't know already, I'll be doing work with a public relations firm in DC called Racepoint Group. I'm hoping to spruce up my social media skills in the process :) Check them out below. I'm so excited to make contributions to the DC team!

"Heads Will Roll...Heads Will Roll..."

Buzzzzzz...

That was the sound my alarm made this morning around 8am. My night was horrid because I had calf cramps and this time they lasted forever. I figured I was dehydrated or something but even right now they feel weird. Sigh.

Anyway, today was interesting. I got a phone call from a fellow intern (#internconnections) and an assignment changed and there was a serious deadline. Although today was my day off, I snapped into super intern mode and took the initiative to do some work so that the deadline could be met and no heads would roll in the office. Needless to say it was a valuable lesson: Make sure you have people's backs. Regardless if it is a colleague or intern it's important to work together to make a goal or objective. I'm 100% sure that she appreciates me and trusts me WAY more than she would have if I just said oh well sucks for you, good luck with the deadline. LOL.

That brings me to my next point. You know it's time for you to move forward into an entry-level position if you are checking your email on your days off and actually doing work anyway. I check my emails everyday, sometimes every hour just so see if new information has come in. It's important that I stay well informed and connected. Sometimes I think that I sell myself short haha. Either way all was well in Q land and no heads rolled. Super Intern saves the day...again *winks*

PS: I have this mash-up song from Glee stuck in my head. It may very well be my favorite number from the series hands down.

#InternBudget: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Hello my fellow busy Bees! --

I wanted to let you all know again that Mocha's Buzz will officially become InternWeekly Online starting February 28th. Right now I'm just making the transition and changing layouts, widgets, HTML coding, etc. It's annoying but it must be done.

Ok back on topic! I've been doing an unpaid internship for about six months now and money is beyond tight. I've cut back on certain "necessities" and I would be lying if I said it's not taking a toll on my physical appearance. My family is from Africa and my hair gets kinky, nappy, puffy and down right UNMANAGEABLE! Today I did the unspeakable. I relaxed my own hair!

It was one of the scariest experiences ever because I thought I was going to burn my hair off and be bald for the rest of my life. It didn't help that my dad lacked faith in my ability to do my own hair. I've only seen someone relax my hair 2405832024957 times. *side eye*

I mustered up some faith and followed the instructions and PRESTO! My hair is looking ON POINT! Not to mention I usually have to pay about $90 to get a relaxer (includes $5 tip). But hello?! I'm on an #InternBudget honey and I paid $6 for my relaxer today. Needless to say, when desperate times call for desperate measures it's important to come up with viable solutions and reasonable alternatives to costly items. Not only does it prevent unreasonable spending but it definitely makes you realize you're capable of doing a lot of things you never thought of doing before.

-M.

Items Used:

Optimum Care Salon Collection Sheen Spray

Optimum Care Salon Collection Relaxer- Regular

What Happens to a Dream Deferred?

What happens to a dream deferred?

What happens when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place?

I'll tell you what happens. You get individuals that will fight for what they believe in. You get individuals that will not back down. You get individuals that will continue to go through the struggle to receive the promise.

These past few weeks have been hard for me. I've been interviewing like crazy and even while sick with the flu I've hustled like I've never hustled before. But on Monday, a university told me I wasn't smart enough on paper to apply to their school and on Wednesday a prospective job told me I was incapable of writing grammatically correct statements and using online systems. It's also obvious that on Tuesday, I put my trust in someone who probably did not have my best interest at heart- thus leading to the heart wrenching e-mail I received on Wednesday. Either way, I know I'm fully capable of writing sentences that are grammatically correct. I also know that I am smart enough to attend graduate school.

Within 72 hrs, two of my dreams were denied. Or in this case--deferred. One door shut on my dream to advance myself academically and another closed on what could have been my first job offer.

God has a way of making things happen. Nothing in life happens by accident. Am I having a hard time coming to grips with the comments and/or decisions made? Yes. Why? Because words hurt. It hurts to know that some people don't believe in you or see your potential or even think you are capable of great things. It also hurts when you start imagining yourself in that situation and it never happens.

I don't know what God's plan is for my life. At this point it could be anything. What I do know is that God has put in my heart the desire to be someone great. Not someone that goes through the motions of life but someone that will change the world, have an impact on lives and do good to everyone near and far. That dream, that desire, that is what drives me. That is the source of my ambition, that is the source of my grind. That is why I go online and spend hours researching job positions and perfecting my cover letters. That is why I aspire to go to school so I can be a knowledge producer instead of a knowledge consumer. I know I am capable of changing the world but I haven't found my purpose yet. Maybe marketing is not the direction He wants me to go in. That's fine, I accept that. I accept whatever His will is for my life because whether I like it or not, I am not in control. He is in control.

So despite everything going on and how I'm feeling, I would publicly like to thank God for giving me the opportunity to experience this so I can share this with friends and family and my future family. God's rejection is truly His protection. He has me going through trials and tribulations because he is preparing me for something great. And I will walk in faith. While people think I'm crazy to intern for free, I will continue to do what God wants me to do because when He believes I am ready, it will all fall into place.

I got through living in a tumultuous, broken home. I got through being one of the BADDEST plus-sized dancers (and I STILL GOT IT HONEY DON'T PLAY ME LOL). I managed to live through getting rejected by every college I applied to but ONE. I managed to sit in a room and be the only African-American student and not only hold it down for my people, but to show that we are fully capable of analyzing, dissecting, proving and disproving an argument. I managed to graduate on time. And somehow I managed to land internships at a world-renown newspaper and a top tier PR firm. So here I am, I stand before you a fighter. I came into this world kicking and screaming from day ONE. And if anyone thinks rejection letters, broken hearts, an absent mother, and an inability to land a first job is going to stop me from being great then you must not know me.

What would Jesus do? He would keep it moving. So that's what I'ma do. I'm chuck up the deuces honey, "i'm moving on to something better, better, better..."